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car jokes
Car Acronyms
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring Many Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
Camaro: Can A Mechanic Actually Repair One??
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology
DODGE:
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Fix It All the Time
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead (Jon Armstrong!)
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
Good Money
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
God Made Chevy
GTO:
Gas, Tires, Oil
Get Tools Out
Get To Onramp
Good To Own
Get The Others
Generally Trashed Out
Good Time Out
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Just Empty Every Pocket
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
LOTUS: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
M.G.:
Money Guzzler
Mostly Garaged
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE:
Old Ladies Driving Slowly, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
TR: Tools Required
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Bumper Sitckers
* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
* Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
* All generalizations are false.
* Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
* I brake for no apparent reason.
* Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control.
* Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
* Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.
* Born free...Taxed to death.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
* Rehab is for quitters.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
* All men are idiots, and I married their King.
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
* Montana (or Vermont?)-- At least our cows are sane!
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
* If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
* When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS.
* No radio - Already stolen.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students
* When The Rapture Comes, Can I Have Your Car?
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