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Top 10 Things to Say on a Date
10. "I sure like chicken."
9. "What a wonderful day. Did I mention I was in a car
accident on the way over?"
8. "This is so exciting! I've never taken two showers in one week before!"
7. "How about
them Reading Phillies? ;)"
6. "That's quite interesting... (yawn)"
5. "I sold my entire 1999 set of baseball cards last
week!"
4. "Do you watch Pokemon? I like Pokemon!"
3. "How 'bout them kidneys on eBay?"
2. "Do I smell tacos? I wish
we could have tacos!"
1. "My pet monkey gives you two thumbs up!"
Best Headlines of 2002
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run
Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court
to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips
Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping
Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Docto
What Not to Say to a Cop
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't on.
3.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!
5. I thought
you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
6. Bad cop! No donut!
7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't
you?
8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.
9. I pay your salary.
10. That's
terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
12.
What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist?
13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least
one of us does.
14. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.
15. Didn't I see you get your
butt kicked on Cops?
16. Is it true people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?
17. I was trying
to keep up with traffic.
18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around--That's how far they are ahead of me.
19. Well,
when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal,
forcing me to speed out of control.
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